Planning a Mindful and Local-Loving Wedding in Richmond
My introduction to the world of weddings began as a child. Growing up in a conservative Christian fundamentalism environment meant all weddings held in the church were the same. Each one ends with delicious buttercream iced wedding cake and pastel punch with a dollop of sherbet. Our family attended many of them, and I was in a mesmerizing trance by the pomp and circumstance every time.
Often, the lead-up to a wedding (bachelorette, engagement parties, engagement photo shoots, showers) and all the events and expectations that come with it can feel consuming. The theatrics and (often) people-pleasing can become it's own entity, distracting from the simplicity of celebration. What is the core of a wedding? Two people connecting their lives in ceremony, surrounded by the energy of people who they love and love them back.
So when I proposed to my now wife in 2016, on a casual Wednesday night, I did it because it felt right. I just wanted my partner to keep riding this journey with me and wanted to make a commitment that reflected that. I didn't need a public proposal or attention - I just needed her, the summer sky, and my bubbling excitement. Everyone is different, honoring that some people delight in public proposals.
This same low-key mindset trickled into planning our celebration. What this looked like for us meant a mutual and relieving agreement that bachelorette parties, showers, and gifts were off the books. We kept our last names because, for us, changing our name doesn't equate to love or honor - our actions and commitment are. We also left wedding traditions behind that felt weird and heteronormative (garter toss, father-daughter dance, the Cupid Shuffle, etc.).
One of the hardest things we encountered with establishing boundaries with both sides of our family - a shared experience with anyone getting married. My suggestion? During planning, allow yourself and your partner to take a break and reflect on if your wedding choices are fulfilling your happiness or others'.
Having a mindful wedding isn’t a trend; it simply means creating an experience that authentically reflects you, your partner, and your love. For us, I was barefoot the entire night. We played the Buffy The Vampire Slayer theme song as we entered the reception. We did not incorporate religion in our ceremony. I think the best thing any guest could walk away from a wedding saying is, “their wedding was so them.”
This all being said, supporting independent and lgbtq+ owned businesses was important for us when we said "I do" in 2017. With so many locally-owned businesses and creatives in Richmond, choosing vendors was a delight. Thank you to each person who made our celebration intimate and unique.
Below I've listed everyone we worked with, wanted to work with, or friends doing amazing wedding-related things in Richmond.